#EndMommyWars Misses the Issue


If you’re a mom every second person you know will have taken it upon themselves to share a version of an #EndMommyWars themed video or article with you. Normally an advert thinly veiled as a feel good video. I’ll admit that I normally I cry along and then hit the share button so that my fellow mommy friends can enjoy it too. Let me say I am sorry for sharing those videos and thus being a part of the problem. If you ask what problem is then you prove my point. The fact that it is not blatantly obvious shows just how entrenched the problem is. It is so much the norm that we don’t even see it to question it.

Let’s start at the beginning. What is this whole #EndMommyWars about? It’s supposedly and effort to stop mothers from judging other mothers for their parenting choices. Judgement about whether you breastfeed, give formula, use disposable nappies, cloth nappies, serve only organic fresh homemade food, bottled food, baby wear, use a pram, the list goes on. If you have been a mother you will know how real the struggle is. There are so many decisions to make, a ridiculous amount of opinions and SO much judgment. We can all relate to those videos and articles where the mother feels judged. Let’s not even get started chatting about the so called mommy support groups on social media.

Sorry I am going off on a tangent… but here is the point. To all the moms on the cloth nappy groups judging other moms for not cloth diapering, to all the moms on the baby food groups judging other mothers for not serving your idea of ideal baby food, and so on. Are you judging the father equally? Have you stopped to wonder where all the fathers are in these groups? Have any of you every stopped to wonder why the hashtag is #EndMommyWars? Because even the corporates who made the video know that women are clearly still the main caregivers despite the fact that they are now often also working full time outside of the home.

Makes you judge that mommy posting at 2am begging for an easier alternative just a little less doesn’t it? Yes I agree with the notion that we should all respect and support one another (excluding situations like child neglect or abuse) but I can’t help but feel that mothers are all missing the real issue. Where are all the fathers?


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